do it first, regret later.

It has been around 3 months since I rashly decided to submit my UCAS application, preparing for enrollment into a UK university.

Since then, I have come up with countless explanations for my decision.

Ah, but as we all know, there are always two kinds of factors that lead to a particular outcome. A trigger can lead me to choose to go overseas – this is usually the less mature and justifiable reason –  but what sustains this, after the initial push? I owe this to my matured (I cringe as I say this, but trust me IT’S THE TRUTH) self, who is finally thinking about how to live this life as fruitfully as I can.

I turn nineteen this year. Nineteen years of my entire life, I spent in Singapore. This is the place I was born, raised, and all of my education up till now was experienced here. I know this city state all too well, and while I do know that you can never know everything about a place, I believe that at this point, I know enough.

And truth to be told, even if I don’t, it is completely fine. I do know that my roots are here, and I will come back here no matter what. I have the rest of my life to learn about Singapore when I come back. Why I want to go someplace new now, is to get away from the all too familiar environment here. Things are getting too comfortable and stagnant – there is nothing that will drive me to change. I, too, will get comfortable and stagnant. I, too, will not improve.

If I do decide to study abroad, this will be a different story. I will be going there alone, alone in a different country for the first time. I will be thrown into an unfamiliar environment, with people very different from me. I will be afraid, but I will also learn to adapt. Adapt, change, grow – I really hope I become a person better than I am right now.

Also, when else will I get a similar opportunity? I want to challenge myself while I’m still young, throw myself into unfamiliar situations where I can make mistakes and grow. The best time to do so is now, when I still have no significant responsibilities upon my shoulders.

And it’s not because I am a person that likes doing new things, either. I despise change and unfamiliarity. I am that person who hates the first day of school, because I have so many things to worry about: getting lost, not having any friends, just to name a few. Yet, I am pushing myself to go through with this, because I know that this is not an opportunity to be passed up on. Pro Tip: If you know you’re afraid of doing something, but know that it’s good for you, just do it anyway. Throw yourself into it, and when it’s too late to back out, then great! Now you have no choice but to follow through with it. (Seriously this is how I roll.)

Friends, take that opportunity that you’re afraid of. DO IT. Most people regret what they DIDN’T do, not what they did.

Best of luck! -Q

nineteen.

Some of you might not know, but I turn nineteen in December.

Nineteen as an age confuses me. There’s ‘teen’ in ‘nineteen’ – so this means that I’m still a teenager, right? But then there’s the fact that after nineteen, everything from here on starts with ‘twenty-‘. Your age beginning with the number ‘two’ – this opens the door to responsibilities, work life, and anything ‘adult’.

At nineteen, do I start worrying about the concept of time running out? The idea of how many years I have left. Do I count from here on, the number of years I will take to complete university, to enter the workforce, to take my masters, to get married, to have kids, to retire… Does all this planning start now?

Do I factor in how my current gap year is going to affect me? It puts me one year behind my peers – I enter the workforce one year later than the rest, I have one year less of experience… Am I one year behind schedule?

Or do I immerse myself in the idea of ‘what if’s – thinking of every possible hypothetical situation?

No, I do none of the above.

I have migrated here.

Hi friends,

If you have been directed here from my old blog, you would know that I am migrating here permanently.

Selected posts have been uploaded here as well, though not all. No worries as I won’t be deleting the old blog – it will still exist, just that I will no longer be posting there. For new readers that have never seen my old blog, do check it out here!

Well, that’s it for now. New posts coming soon. Until next time! -Q