jobless, aimless & bored

At the beginning of this year, I started working at StarHub as one of their call centre temp staff. Last week, I quit – for a multitude of reasons. And now I’m jobless, aimless, and very, very bored.

For the first couple of days of unemployed life, I did nothing but ate, slept and watched (or mostly, RE-watched) dramas. I refined my drama stash (re-downloaded those available in higher quality, deleted some older dramas to make space for the newer ones, etc.). I went out (quite a fair bit), I spent money. A lot of it.

And along the way I rekindled my love for the drama Faith (Korean time travel drama, 2012, starring Lee Min Ho and Kim Hee Sun). The directing and editing leaves a lot to be desired, but somehow watching it again made me love it as much as I did the first time (or even more so).

Oh, and before I forget, I went to watch a Chinese Orchestra concert too! One of the pieces was a medley of the Goblin OST. So much feels, I could barely contain them. Reminds me of why I love live orchestra performances, and how much I adored the Goblin soundtrack. Seriously. Even if the plot might seem draggy (admittedly, it is), it is a very epic drama with very epic directing/editing/acting/soundtracks. Take my word for it. In fact, this rekindled love for the soundtrack might drive me to pick up the piano again to learn the some of the pieces. Both vocal and instrumental pieces were GREAT.

I plan to find and start a new job in July. I’ll probably resume the job search in mid-June – right now I’m not working too hard at it. In the mean time, I might catch Wonder Woman with my sister soon, or hopefully resume swimming regularly because I feel my belly rolls expanding. (For some strange reason, as I type this, my brain affectionately inserts images of korean BBQ…)

Today, I’ll leave you with a quote someone showed me last week. I slept on it and thought it was great.

Everyone can taste success when the going is easy, but few know how to taste victory when times get tough. -Byron Pulsifer

See you soon! -Q

nineteen.

Some of you might not know, but I turn nineteen in December.

Nineteen as an age confuses me. There’s ‘teen’ in ‘nineteen’ – so this means that I’m still a teenager, right? But then there’s the fact that after nineteen, everything from here on starts with ‘twenty-‘. Your age beginning with the number ‘two’ – this opens the door to responsibilities, work life, and anything ‘adult’.

At nineteen, do I start worrying about the concept of time running out? The idea of how many years I have left. Do I count from here on, the number of years I will take to complete university, to enter the workforce, to take my masters, to get married, to have kids, to retire… Does all this planning start now?

Do I factor in how my current gap year is going to affect me? It puts me one year behind my peers – I enter the workforce one year later than the rest, I have one year less of experience… Am I one year behind schedule?

Or do I immerse myself in the idea of ‘what if’s – thinking of every possible hypothetical situation?

No, I do none of the above.

2k17: an update

Ah, it is now 2017.
I know that April barely started, but you wouldn’t believe how much has happened from the last time I updated, up to this present moment.Just a few updates:
I turned 18! Yes, finally, at long last, hallelujah! The wait has been long. And wouldn’t you believe it – turning eighteen was as boring as I expected it to be.
I graduated from Junior College! Still can’t decide whether the span of two years is a short or long period… I’m only glad that this is all over.
I experienced my first (two) heartbreaks! That really didn’t deserve an exclamation mark.
I got my first full time job! Very frustrating, but it pays the bills (or rather, my online shopping expenses), so I can’t complain too much.
I am now eligible to apply for undergrad enrollment! YAS. I’m not really excited to study, but more glad that I did well enough to actually get to choose what I want to study. Interests so far: politics, psychology, linguistics?
That’s it for now, folks. Might upload a short story some time soon.
Happy reading!
With love,
NOFRILLDAFFODIL

‘of course.’

The sun was scorching. Feet were shuffling on the concrete floors, voices trying to beat the noise of the crowd.

She silently watches from behind a pillar. They were saying their goodbyes, she observes, as she leans in to eavesdrop on the conversation.

It was nothing out of the ordinary, but somehow, she just needed to know. About as much of his life as possible. About his life beyond her. Because once he leaves, it is going to be a whole new world out there. Him slipping away would be inevitable. She has to learn as much as possible now, she thinks.

But she’s not doing a very good job of hiding. Looking over his parents, he spots a pair of familiar blue sneakers shifting in and out of his view. Subconsciously, the corners of his mouth curve up into a shy smile. So she did come after all, he muses.

Today was the day. It was a day of both promises and the breaking of deals, of change, and of continuity.

‘Nothing will change,’ is how he starts off his greeting, when he finally excuses himself from his company.

Her heart drops, and for a moment she thought she heard a thud and a shatter. In her head, she laughs at herself. Status quo was the last thing she wanted and needed. But as usual, none of these thoughts were said out loud.

Without betraying a hint of her true emotion, she composes herself, and flashes a bright smile.

‘Of course.’

getting by.

I’ve always prided myself to be a rather strong person.

Whatever life has thrown at me, I have taken it as it came my way.

Not with positivity. but not with spite, or contempt at the world, either.

I’ve never moaned that my life sucked, or that why this is happening to me, or whatsoever. Because I know that I’m actually really lucky, and privileged.

And there’s the fact that a lot of our life really IS within our control, no matter how much we try to say otherwise.

More often, it is the choices we made that bring us to where we are toady.

And for the remaining occurrences that happen due to sheer luck (or the lack thereof), feel bad about it. But then get over it. Use the time to appreciate the things that did go right – your loved ones who stayed beside you, that neighbour who always greets you with that sunny smile, the bus that arrived on time today.

Stars shine brightest in the dark.

And I’ve lost something on the way to where I am today.